The Sowing Ends
Aubrey
This was the longest two weeks of my life. From nearly the beginning, for the first time since I began going to Tiger’s Run, I wanted to go back home.
Home was lonely. I didn’t go anywhere or do anything. I had no friends aside from Raiman. He was my everything, my person, my home away from home, my refuge. Here at Tiger’s Run, I had other people I looked forward to spending time with. There were other people I enjoyed laughing with and calling friend. During the school year, the only person I had was Raiman. He and I were inseparable. As children, we played and spent time with one another’s families. We had Thanksgiving and Christmas together. We were always in each other’s pockets, as Rai’s mama always said. There was a difference between my life at home and my life at Tiger’s Run.
I was trapped in my mother’s home. I was a blind child no one knew what to do with. My mama didn’t really want me. She told me as much. My father ran off with some woman, as mama put it, and I was left with her. She hid me away from everything and everybody. I believe the only reason I went to school is because of the truancy laws. That’s where I met Rai. We were the only two blind children in our school. I was the little girl with pigtails, and Coke bottle glasses. The other kids didn’t understand how a girl with glasses couldn’t see like them. They picked on me relentlessly. I was smaller than most of the kids, and I wasn’t like any of them. But Rai, he was just like me in a lot of ways. The differences between us didn’t matter to him, and because he was visually impaired too, Mama let me have him as a friend. Rai took care of me. He protected me. He laughed with me. He called me. And when Mama forgot to make me lunch, which was never the case, she just never cared enough to buy stuff for lunch or even sign me up for the free lunch at the school, Rai shared his food with me.
So, having other friends at camp was not only an anomaly, but a wonder to me.
Every year, I looked forward to Tiger’s Run. It was a place out of time for me. A place where I could be free and go outside without Mama calling me back into our cramped little apartment ten minutes later to hide me in my room, away from the neighbors and her friends. I didn’t understand why she was ashamed of me. I only wanted to go outside to play and be like the other kids, but she didn’t want that, and I hated whippings, so I complied.
I often wondered that summer if the girls who ganged up on me would have treated me with such callousness and brutality if they’d known that they were my only friends and why I so eagerly looked forward to seeing them each summer. I wondered if they would have had sympathy for a girl who never had the freedoms they had. They never knew that I was only allowed out of the house to go to school. They didn’t know that Rai was my only friend, and Piper especially didn’t know that she was trying to take from me the only lifeline I had by keeping me away from Rai. I didn’t begrudge Rai a girlfriend, but the truth was that he and I had started to see one another differently these past couple of years. I was not only frightened of Piper because she was so much bigger than me, but because she was taking the only person, I had that I could depend on in my life. I was jealous of the kisses she shared with him, the touches he usually bestowed on me, and the laughter and love he seemed to be sharing with someone else. I knew Rai loved me. I had no qualms with that, nor had I doubted it.
I knew he’d always come back to me. We were each other’s person, so I had no problems with the summer arrangements. I did have a problem with her trying to claim him as hers. I never said a word, though. Somehow, Piper knew the circumstances of my and Rai’s relationship, and she took it out on me. Had he told her? I guess I’ll never know.
The last day of camp, I sat on the fence. my legs dangling, and my hands on either side of my hips, helping me stay balanced. I went over all the events of the two weeks. I think this was the first time since I came to camp that I had all my bags packed two days early. Usually, Mama had to wait for me to get the last remnants of my stuff together. I’d have a brush or comb out. Maybe I’d have forgotten to put a set of socks away or something. Not this time. My eyes teared. Thinking of the way Maggie and Cassie had sneered at me the last time I’d been pushed around their circle. Cassie was supposed to be my best friend at Tiger’s Run. I’d been so eager to see her and chat with her about all the discoveries I’d made over the year. I wondered if she’d had her first kiss the way I had. Then, to think Cassie believed I’d had sex with her boyfriend. First of all, Ridge and I were only friends. I was crazy about Rai. Sure, I talked to other boys. No one here needed to know about what Rai and I did at home. No one here needed to know that my heart and soul was already taken by the boy they called Casanova. They may think Rai was like that, but I knew different. I knew who and what Rai was. He was a loving boy who took care of me in every way possible. They didn’t know him. They didn’t know me.
I sat watching the other campers get picked up one by two or three by their mothers or family friends. Cassie’s mom was there for her. I was always the last camper there, waiting for a ride home. I didn’t know if Mama was coming for me or if she’d send somebody else. She never allowed me to ride with Rai’s family. I think she didn’t want them to realize that she didn’t care if I made it back home or not. I was good for a check, extra food stamps, and whatever else she could get for me. Evidently, I wasn’t good for anything else to anyone other than Rai. When he’d had to leave me here to wait for her, he’d been pissed, knowing I’d be home long after him. He’d kissed my forehead and told me to call him when I got home. Piper hadn’t been able to object because she’d been with her own parents. I was sure they wouldn’t have been happy to see her slap me over Rai’s kiss. She’d glared at me, but she hadn’t been able to put her hands on me.
Now, I watched as Cassie and her mom talked animatedly with each other. Leo and Elle were riding home with Cassie. She had her own built-in friendships at home. I just sat and stared at the laughter and teasing between her, her mother, and the others. My face burned. My heart ached. As soon as I felt the tears of anguish burning the backs of my eyes, her mother noticed me.
“Hey, Cassie, isn’t that your friend, Aubrey?”
Cassie’s smile dropped from her face. She didn’t say anything. She just walked up to me. “Bye, Aubrey,” she said softly, lifting her hand in a wave.
I flinched away from her even though Cassie never once hit me this summer.
“Bye, Cassie,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes.
“Don’t do that,” she admonished. “Mom will see you and then she’ll have all kinds of questions.”
I stared into her eyes. She didn’t care about my hurt feelings. All she cared about was whether her mom knew what went down this summer or not. I knew a little about Cassie’s family. Her mom would never have condoned what happened this summer. I wondered if I should make a scene.
“Good luck this year,” I whispered, instead, remembering one of the old adages mama loved to quote, “You reap what you sow.”
“Cassie,” I called to her before she could get to far away from me. I jumped down from the fence and walked up to her. I put my arms around her waist, she was taller than me, but who wasn’t? “I’m sorry for you,” I whispered, as she hugged me back to keep her mom from knowing what kind of little hateful ass she was.
“Why?”
“Because you’ll reap what you sow,” I whispered, kissed her cheek, and stepped back from her.
Her eyes were wide, as she stared into mine. I think she understood what I meant.
“I forgive you,” I said as low as possible, trying to keep her mom from hearing us. There was no need to get her mother involved in our mess. “I love you. I’ll miss you.”
She walked away from me. She seemed a little dazed, as she waved at me over her shoulder again.
And so began the Reaping.
The End
Thank you for reading the first part of the three-part series. Don’t leave now because Cassie’s story isn’t over. Aubrey has given her some food for thought, but what Cassie doesn’t understand just yet is that life is a cycle in which what we put out into the universe circles back around to either haunt us or bless us. Stick around to see which it will be for Cassie.
What do you think is coming next? How did your own experience bullying go? Did you forgive? Were you forgiven? Let’s see what karma has in store for Cassie.
Till next we meet, stay well & keep creating!
CSA
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Nell Anthony 