Beginning of a Happy Ending – Part One…

For the rest of the school year, I tried to stay to myself. It was difficult. I rarely talked to anyone. It was one of those times in my life when there was far too much time on my hands. I remembered my mother’s sage words of wisdom, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.” Again, I was fascinated with a saying. Aubrey’s words danced in my mind like Christmas sugarplums throughout the season of Christ’s birth. It was a saying I’d started to wholeheartedly believe in. The Bible was one of the many books I read over the course of my enforced, and eventually, chosen, solitude.

The line in Deuteronomy that said that whatsoever a man reaps he shall also sow, forty times forty, stuck in my head and let me know that Aubrey’s prediction for me was fulfilled in full and then some in my opinion. There were other lines in the Great Book of wisdom that broke into my conscious and facilitated my change.

I realized I didn’t treat people the way I wanted to be treated. I watched how people treated others and wondered if I’d want to be treated that way. I put a smile on my face no matter what, as I wasn’t pleased by frowns. I tried my best to be pleasant and polite no matter the provocation. Life was too short for overblown arguments, hard feelings, instant dislikes, and constant complaints. I despised complaints, so I found ways to praise others and find happiness in any situation.

I was alone. No one talked to me, and I was afraid of pulling other people into my mess, so I shied away from being full-fledged friends with anyone. I had acquaintances. I had people I spoke with occasionally, as no man is made to be an island. I didn’t hang out with people, had no one I talked to on a regular basis, or trusted with the darkness that had found a hold inside me, no. I trusted no one and offered love, forgiveness, and kindness to all. It cost me nothing to be nice and polite, and I found it took entirely too much energy to foster hate and vitrail. I had to let go of the sadness that had surrounded me throughout the rest of that school year.

I’d found a sense of happiness throughout my ostracism. I’d found so many other worlds and friends through my passion in reading and writing. I wrote in my journal nearly daily. I learned how to use the computers on campus better. I had a parttime job as a library assistant in our school library. I had other things to fulfill the void that was left by a boyfriend who could believe the worst of me, the best friend who’d betrayed me, and a boy I’d trusted who’d abandoned me to the fate his girlfriend facilitated for me.

Thank you for reading this week. I apologize for the absences. I have been trying to find a way to end Cassie’s journey. Of course, this is not the end. There has to be something that Cassie has worked towards. I feel there must be a reward for her resilience and willingness to change in the face of such adversity. Have there been times when life has seemed to just keep punishing you relentlessly? Have there been times when you just wanted to give up, but decided to keep going? I’m sure Cassie felt that way, but instead of falling to pieces at every moment, she persevered and realized that maybe there were a few things she could change for herself and be happier for the changes. Let’s give Cassie a happy ending. I look forward to finding her happy ending.

Until next we meet, stay well & keep creating!

CSA

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